So my parents are ignoring my existence since I came home.
I find this really hilarious that they’re acting like 2nd graders.
Here’s what I assumed happened..
Someone told my mom about my facebook status from last Sunday that briefly said that they should stop shoving college down my throat, that they’re not going for me and that I’m kind of tired of it.
Problem 1: My daddy commented, saying to specify which parents. I responded saying the parents I didn’t like.
Honestly, I love my daddy above all others. I have looked up to him since I can remember. I really couldn’t give less of a crap about the mistakes he’s made. I don’t have to follow in his footsteps to admire them. I respect how he treats me, how he embraces who I am and still maintains the aspect of being a parent while still showing me love and care I NEVER feel at home. My mother likes to bring up the excuse that he “lets me do whatever I want” or “lets me stay up too late” or “will do whatever I want because of what mistakes hes made”. Let me tell you, my father has not changed when it comes to that. I don’t ask for any more than I did before, and I don’t treat him any differently. In reality, not much has changed between us except the fact that I want to be around HIM more. My parents made a bigger mistake: pushing me away too many times for too long. The relationship that we had, if we ever had one, was destroyed years ago. Recently, they’re just chipping into the foundation that would need to be there for anything else to be rebuilt. I try and try and try to please and it ALWAYS fails. I never feel loved, accepted, or embraced. I want to be myself. The closer I am to that self, the better I do in everything.. school, art, motivation..
Problem 2: Christien comments “What a c- oh this is public :P”. Honestly, I laughed, because he was going to say “what a cutie”, which is just hilarious. He KNOWS my family sees my facebook, he would never swear like my parents think.
So when I came home today, my parents here were barely acknowledging my existence, and I heard tiny bits and pieces of my mother screaming on the phone in the laundry room to my Daddy about how he shouldn’t comment, how its a joint effort, blah blah blah… Basically she thinks he should scold me for expressing myself.
First of all, I think its an invasion of privacy that they know anyway. I didn’t my mother for a reason, and she didn’t add me to be linked to students. I should be able to express myself. I wasn’t swearing, or calling names, I was complaining mildly with logical reason. What people say about it is not my problem. Maybe they should watch what they say. When I get older, they can’t micromanage their reputations because they feel like it.
Second, my father is not even close to at fault. He knows what happens, I text him about it all the time. He can see what they do wrong and what I’m just overreacting to. They think he’s a terrible guy for what he did, but when it comes down to it.. my father is not only more mature when it comes to parenting, but he simply LOVES me more. Giving me electricity or food (which my parents put me last on the grocery list anyways) is taking care of me, physically. Anyone can do that with a little empathy. My father gives me what they’ve lacked and what is the most important thing to me: love. I could live in a box but if my parents loved and respected me.. I’d be in heaven.
Sorry for this rant, but this is my daily life and I am SO sick of being stuck in a corner. I need to physically leave this house for any sort of hope with communication with my mother and step father. This I can assure you..